{o}{o}{o}{Old Fashioned Gir}{o}{o}{o}

So, I am an old fashioned kinda girl especially about Christmas! I absolutely LOVE Christmas time! I love getting to be with my family! I love getting presents for my loved ones! I love wrapping presents (hence why I was considering a gift wrapping service- I like to do the real fancy pretty bows and all). I love the music! I love the decorating and cooking and eating! I love it all! well except for the probability of losing power at some point in the winter. I am kinda sad this year though. Obviously Christmas hasn't been the same for the past few years. I tend to cry a lot more than I used to at Christmas. Little things set me off on accident and I find myself at work blinking tears out of my eyes before anybody notices. But I know that she is watching over us. I am a very traditional kind of Christmas lover and very sentimental (pack rat) so I keep little things around that remind me of my past Christmases with my family. I was so happy to see that I had packed some of Mom's old Christmas decorations in with the Christmas tree that Rachel picked up this weekend. I can look at then and remember the times I shared with her. I miss her so much and I wish she were here with us. It makes me sad not being able to be home with Daddy and Kryssi to put up the tree this year. I miss my family. I am making myself sadder writing about it. I thought this would make me feel better, but I think I am going to have to go look for cute cat pictures on the net now to cheer myself up. Everyone try to remember that this is the season of good will and joy! It's all about the little ones! Love and Peace everyone!

:{}:{}:{}:{Feel}:{}:{}:{}:

I'm feeling a lot of things all at once: reminiscent, hopeful, sad, happy, confident, insignificant, ridiculous, and bold and more and so on...
It sucks.
But I am going to try to focus in on the good feelings.
This will be the first Thanks Giving I will not spend with my family.
But it will also be the first Thanks Giving that Ronnie, Pixi, and I will share together as our own little family.
I am excited and sad at the same time. I have a lot of things to be thankful for!
I have a wonderful family with the best Daddy in the world, a beautiful niece and three handsome nephews (1 is a nephew-in-law-to-be), I have a beautiful, loving, caring, strong, brave man to call my fiance` and of course I have a little precious fur baby to cuddle.

I also have an awesome camera that I love to take photos with! Here's some new pics! I was playing with my scarf/shawl. :)

}{}The{}Affect{}{

There have been many people that I have encountered in my life. And I am proud to say that, in the midst of the chaos of greed and hate engulfing the world, I have been able to meet many good-hearted and kind people. I know the impact that these people have had on my life and I hope that I can brighten some one's day with a smile and the kindness I have earned from others. I hope that maybe I can have the affect all those good people had on me on some one else that needs it. I hope that in some way, I can do something good and make at least a small difference.

I'd also like to say a few words for anyone who has lost a loved one.
I know how hard the holidays are with that person, but we have to remember that they would rather us all be happy and being the cheer that makes the whole family smile, than sad and down and bringing everyone else down with us. I cry and smile at the same time when I hear a Christmas song I love that reminds me of Mom. I remember her smile and her singing along and I am happy that I had those times with her.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

{{BReaK ThE B0rEd0m}}

I am bored and don't really have much to say. Lil bummed at the moment. Workin' on fixin' that. But here's some pics.

Only a Thousand Words....

Could you say how you feel?
In only a thousand words?
They a picture says
A thousand words...
I could never hope to say
How I feel about you
In only a thousand words.

I'll try to show you life through my eyes,
But I can't do it
in Only a Thousand Words.

These are some pics from today... I was feeling expressive. Been working on a new story... ( yeah I know, "You never finished the last one...") But it's just been a whiles since I felt inspired. And right now, I'm trying let the past rest and embrace life today.

My cousin did this first. I've loved the idea since she did it. I will add a link to her photos for everyone to check out! She's awesome!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lovelafever/5168389579/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lovelafever/5168988842/in/photostream/
^Links to Gayle's Photos!

My Photos:

@---}---- LoVe ----{---@

It is amazing how strong a bond between two people can become. We finish eacth other's sentences. I swear sometimes we can read each other's thoughts. It's so wonderful to know how much he loves me and much I love him. No matter what I am going through, whether he knows how I feel or not, he knows exactly what to do or say to make me feel better. He knows how to brighten my day. He is my better half when I need to learn and my bad influence when I need to have fun. He has been there for me during the hardest times in my life and is still just as compassionate as ever. He is truly amazing and so is the way I feel about him. He is my heart and soul and I will cherish every moment we have together for eternity. We are Penguins! Forever and Always No Matter What!

+++Grown Up wathin' 'em Grow Up+++

Well, we had a blast at Daddy's this weekend! Meagan is now 5 years old! I can't believe it! Jordan and Shyluc are going to be taller than me in no time! They are all growing so fast! I am so glad I got to see them! I got to hang with both of my sisters too! I met Keeston, Jessica, and David too. It was a blast! With us growing and everyone else growing family time is getting harder and harder to come by. I am so happy to have the times that we do have with each other.

I will upload pics later :)

{confession}

They say that in order to overcome your fears, you must face them. Well, I did that. I DO that. Regularly. But, I am still extremely claustrophobic. I didn't realize how bad I was till we moved up here. I guess I'm still trying to get used to living in a big city instead of bein able to run out and play in the woods whenever I want. I work at the busiest Walmart in town and everyday I end up having to face my claustraphobia. If it's not being squished in the overly crowded aisles, it's having to go find something in the back and go down very narrow, long, dark aisles in the back where you push the button to move the shelves. I'm always afraid somebody's gonna come along and push the button without realizing I'm in there. As if it wasn't a claustrophobic stuation already. It's insane. My body just locks up and I have to take a deep breath and force myself to take each step. But I do it. I face my fear and do what I have to... So, shouldn't I be over it now? Idk. Anyway... Here's a pic to contrast with the gloomy post! Lol.

((((Tralalala))))

Hmmm.... So you know, if creative people didn't have to work at lame jobs, we could actually have time to create our masterpieces, or at least not be so tired on our days off that we can't accomplish anything. But that's why I'm in college. Just gotta get through the crap to get to the life I want! And btw, I'm gonna be an awesome director! Love my film class and can't wait for next semester!
In the meanwhile, I took some shots on campus finally! editting in process... could be a long process. I will upload some! Also, here's a poem.



//Faded Memory//

Sometimes I feel like a faded memory,
Lost in box on the shelf, hidden by dust,
And cloaked in cobwebs… forgotten.
Just a broken heart and tired soul,
All alone, cold, and empty.
Will anyone ever need me?
Doesn’t anyone want me anymore?
What have I done? When did I fall?
What did I do wrong? My hopes have gone…
I’m nothing more than a faded memory.
Useless, more like a rotten regret,
A bitter taste in the mouth when you think
About me, remember me…
Can’t anyone see the dreams I had?
Tell me where they’ve gone.
I’m just a faded memory,
Lost in box on the shelf,
Lost like hopes, wishes, and dreams.